Most employees do not relish the opportunity to meet with Human Resources to discuss problems. Instead, most meetings between an employee and HR are initiated by HR to address an employee’s performance problems, to interview an employee about alleged workplace misconduct, or to terminate an employee. Because most employees do not regularly meet with HR, the vast majority of employees lack sufficient experience to successfully handle a meeting with HR, leading to confusion, fear and worry.
In this blog post, Matt Ruggles explains what an employee should do and what an employee should not do during a meeting with Human Resources in order to have the most successful outcome for the employee.
Things An Employee Should Do During a Meeting with Human Resources
Announce You Are Taking Notes and Actually Take Notes
As discussed in my previous blog on how to prepare for a meeting with HR, an employee should prepare a packet of relevant documents in preparation for a meeting with HR, including relevant personnel policies and procedures, any relevant emails and documents, and a short timeline of events. When you appear for the meeting with HR, be sure to bring your packet of documents that you have organized and highlighted. Have your timeline on top of the packet so that you can easily reference it if needed. Bring a blank notepad to take notes. On the notepad, write down the date and time of the meeting (beginning and ending times), and list everyone attending the meeting. When the meeting starts, begin taking notes. If needed, ask the person talking to slow down and expressly say “I’m taking notes.”
During the meeting, the HR representative will state a particular reason or purpose for the meeting, usually at the beginning of the meeting. Listen for it and make sure to write it down. In most cases, the HR representative will repeat the reason multiple times because they will explain the reasons/factors/circumstances that justify the reason or purpose of the meeting.
Listen Carefully Before You Ask Questions
If you are required to attend a meeting with Human Resources, the HR representative (and therefore the Company) has information that it wants to communicate to you – let them tell you whatever it is they want to tell you. Do not interrupt the speaker, do not interject, comment, or argue with the person speaking. Instead, listen carefully and do your best to take notes. Do not attempt to take down what is being said word-for-word. Do you best to write down key words and phrases, but otherwise summarize the content and tone of the message. In most cases, the HR representative will give you an opportunity to ask questions after the HR representative has finished communicating the message. Be patient and wait for that opportunity.
When Meeting with Human Resources, Act Like You Care, Even If You Don’t
It is very important that the employee subject to meeting with Human Resources act appropriately during the meeting. If the employee acts like nothing matters, and that the employee couldn’t care less if he/she loses her job, guess what? The employee is probably going to lose his/her job. On the other hand, if the employee acts like he/she sincerely cares about the job, his/her co-workers, and the employer, taking an adverse employment action against the employee becomes more difficult for the employer. How do you “act like you care?” One simply way is to say “I really care about this job, it is very important to me,” or “I hear you and what you are saying is very important.” The point is that the employee subject to the HR meeting is better off if the HR representative believes the employee is receptive to and understands the message being communicated to the employee.
Ask Questions About the Reason for Any Adverse Action, but Do Not Argue
When the HR Representative announces the reason or purpose of the meeting, and assuming it generally is negative for the employee, make sure you understand the reason. If you do not, politely ask the HR representative to explain it to you. For instance, if the HR Representative tells the employee he/she is not doing a “good enough job,” the employee should ask the HR representative what specific tasks or job duties the employee is not performing satisfactorily. Write down the HR Representative’s response, but do not argue or contradict the statements unless and until the HR Representative asks for you for your side of the issue being presented. Arguing with the HR Representative is a waste of time, and might be considered insubordination.
Ask For Time to Respond at A Later Date
If the reason or purpose of the meeting with Human Resources is anything more than a simple warning, most employees will feel the need to respond and provide the employee’s “side of the story” to either justify or explain the situation. If at all possible and reasonable under the circumstances, Matt advises employees to ask the HR Representative if the employee can be allowed to respond in writing (email or in a written memo) several days later. Doing so will give the employee time to consider and organize the employee’s response, and escape the emotions that might make responding on the spot more difficult. If the employer insists that the employee provide a written statement during the meeting with Human Resources, Matt tells employees to expressly mention in the statement that the employee is emotional and under pressure at the beginning of the statement, always trying to remain professional and objective. For instance, begin your forced statement with something like this:
“I am writing this statement because Human Resources insists that I do so today, even though I asked for additional time. I am emotional and stressed because of this meeting, but I will do my best to give an accurate statement. I’d prefer to have more time to give this statement so I could remember more details.”
The exact words do not matter, but you should express how you are feeling in the moment. Matt calls those the “weasel words,” meaning the words that indicate that your memory is not at its best, potentially allowing you to modify or add to your answer later on.
If Required, Only State Your Disagreement on a Written Warning, Not a Lengthy Explanation
Many times, the meeting with Human Resources will be for the purpose of presenting the employee with a written warning related to poor job performance or alleged workplace misconduct. Most of the time, the employee receiving the written warning does not agree with the contents of the warning or the Company’s description of the problem. If the written warning form has a section labelled “Employee Response” or “Employee Comment,” Matt recommends that the employee only write something like “I disagree with the contents of this warning, it is not accurate” or “I disagree, this is not correct.” The employee does not need to provide a detailed narrative or detailed explanation explaining his/her disagreement, and the employee gains nothing by providing such an explanation because it will not change the employer’s decision. Instead, the employee is better off simply registering the employee’s objection to the written warning so that the employee can provide a more thorough explanation later on (like, in a lawsuit) if needed.
Things An Employee Should Not Do During the Meeting with Human Resources
Because a meeting with Human Resources is uncommon and stressful for most employees, there always is a potential that the employee’s emotions can get out of hand, and the employee can say or do something in the meeting that can be misconstrued by the employer, or that might be considered insubordination (misconduct) that the employer could use to discipline the employer regardless of the underlying reason for the meeting with HR. Here are the most common mistakes that most employees make during the meeting with HR:
Do Not Get Upset, Angry or Use Profanity when Meeting with Human Resources
Most people do not really understand the role of Human Resources. HR is an agent of management: they enforce the policies and procedures of the Company. Human Resources is not the Help Center for employees, and HR is not the place you go when you need someone to look out for you. Why? Because HR is looking out for management, not for the employees! With this in mind, employees should understand that the Human Resources representative assigned to meet with you has a job to do, whether that person likes it or not, and usually does not have any discretion on what message to deliver to you. Consequently, directing anger or emotions at the HR representative normally is misplaced because HR simply is implementing the decisions of the corporate decision-makers (i.e. management). Additionally, directing anger and emotion at the individual HR representative is unprofessional and will detract from the employee’s credibility, and may be viewed as insubordination, giving the employer an independent reason to discipline and/or terminate the employee.
Do Not Sign Any Document, Form or Statement
Despite anything the HR representative may tell you at the meeting, an employee has no obligation to sign any document at any meeting with Human Resources, so don’t do it. Always refuse to sign any document unless and until you have sufficient time to thoroughly review it and understand it. If you are unable to quickly obtain legal advice, ask a trusted friend or someone with relevant experience to review the document with you to ensure you understand what you are signing.
Do Not Agree with The Company’s Description of Events
Many times, the HR representative will attempt to get the employee subject to the meeting to “buy in” to management’s version of the situation by asking the employee to agree to certain facts or a certain description/characterization of events that favors the employer’s conclusion. While it’s fair to acknowledge the Company’s characterization of events, never expressly agree that what the HR representative is telling you is “fair” or is “reasonable” or even is “accurate.” It is better to simply let HR tell their story, and you tell your story – do not argue about it, point out the flaws, etc. – that is arguing. Remember, the purpose of the HR meeting is to communicate a message from management to the employee. Beyond that, the employee is not obligated (and should not) agree with any description or characterization by the Company until the employee has a full and fair opportunity to review the situation, which normally cannot be accomplished in the context of the initial HR meeting.
Do Not Tell the Company You Hired a Lawyer and Plan to Sue
No one in Human Resources or in management is impressed when an employee says he/she has hired a “bulldog” lawyer and intends to sue the Company. Matt Ruggles heard that a thousand times as a defense lawyer, and it rarely, if ever, was true. People that intend to sue someone don’t go around bragging about it, they just file the lawsuit. Don’t embarrass yourself and make this rookie mistake. Once you decide to sue your employer, let your attorney do the talking.
Contact the Ruggles Law Firm at 916-758-8058 to Evaluate Your Potential Lawsuit
Matt Ruggles has a thorough understanding of California employment laws and decades of practical experience litigating employment law claims in California state and federal court. Using all of his knowledge and experience, Matt and his team can quickly evaluate your potential claim and give you realistic advice on what you can expect if you sue your former employer.
Contact the Ruggles Law Firm at 916-758-8058 for a free, no obligation consultation.
Blog posts are not legal advice and are for information purposes only. Contact the Ruggles Law Firm for consideration of your individual circumstances.
